I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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