just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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