brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
