Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
