If i come over, it means nothing
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
