Umm I'm too high to move.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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