It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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