My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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