I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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