OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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