I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
