I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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