whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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