so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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