They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize