so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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