I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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