Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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