I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize