May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
