Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
literally had 100 drinks last night.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Let's get the cat blown out
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
