The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
