I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
