you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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