Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
