So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I want you more than these girls want KFC
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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