Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
