Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
