Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Girls should come with a carfax report
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
