I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
