Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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