You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize