we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize