So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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