apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
