Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
