ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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