Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
As shirtless as possible
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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