LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
