Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Randomize
