I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize