just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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