have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
should my penis look like a turkey
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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