my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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