i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
