Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
