how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
