i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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