You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
