if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
