your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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