she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
