Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
