Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
